


The tales of tightass

by Bookwyrm743



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anya Lives, Everyone is a Child, I spent way too long giggling over this, Raven started it, Running Joke, Titus is clueless, crackfic, yes I am a child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 11:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16407359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwyrm743/pseuds/Bookwyrm743
Summary: I dedicate this work to Wanheda89 who shared her delicious 4am giggles with me, and now I can share it with you as we follow the glorious transformation of Titus Fleimkepa





	The tales of tightass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wanheda89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanheda89/gifts).



As with every other chore in my life right now, it began with Skaikru. In particular, the bird girl with the smart attitude and a complete lack of respect for heda and the warmonas that serve under her. After Anya returned from the mountain speaking of peace with Skaikru and an initiative against the mountain, this ridiculous child has been ‘outfitting Polis with all the good tech baby’.

I do not need to understand what that means to know that she is trouble. I also do not need this disrespectful child in my temple talking of the thirteenth station and something called ‘Polaris’. “Anya, get this child out of here, this is a sacred place not some show to be mocked.” I snapped at the Warmona, Heda is weak to allow her affection for her fos to overtake her sense. This woman has no sense of propriety.

Anya rolled her eyes, a sign of supreme disrespect. “Oh shove it tightass, we’ll be done in five minutes.”

The bird girl sprayed spittle everywhere with her unattractive guffaw, “Oh god, that is happening, this is happening, oh god is real. Come on Anya, we’ve got work to do.” I straightened my robes and gathered cloth to wipe the offensive liquid off the artifacts. Such disrespect.

Anya’s poor pronunciation of my name, I thought, was a singular mistake. However it seems to be a mistake that has gone repeated half a dozen times over the last few weeks, and always is accompanied by the giggles of her uncouth companion. I do not understand how an inability to pronounce something could become a joke, even to Skaikru.

“Clarke you must be realistic about this, we can not stake the lives of everyone under the mountain on the hope of a single man.” I protested, looking to the other members of the war council.

Nearly half of them nodded their agreement and I stepped back knowing that Heda will side with the more sensible plan to storm the mountain. Clarke glared at me, “Hey tightass, stop smirking.”

There is that mispronunciation again. I open my mouth to correct her, but there are a few smirks among the warmonas. I narrowed my eyes at the Skaikru leader.  “Here’s how this works,” Clarke began again, “Unless you plan to have your entire army dig a tunnel into the mountain, we need Bellamy to succeed.”

Many of us fought her on the plan, but in the end she did succeed. She even succeeded in angering queen Nia so much that she gave Heda the opportunity she needed to kill the one woman that survived defying the commander. It was a good move to strengthen Heda’s position, even I will admit that.

However, bringing King Roan into the war council has its own share of problems with it, he is no more respectful than the bird girl and worse, seems to associate with Skaikru almost as much as he does with Azgeda. Those disrespectful Skaikrus are rubbing off on him.

He gives me odd looks with that arrogant smirk of his, and even when he’s not in council with the other ambassadors he watches me. Soon all of the ambassadors watch me, my name said with odd inflections and more of those smirks. I don’t understand what is so funny about it all.

Finally I had to ask. “Ambassador Kane,” I began, unsure of how this conversation would proceed.

“Tight-uh, Titus. What can I do for you?” Kane smiled a bit wider than he usually did in my presence. It’s infuriating, but much like any other diplomatic situation I put the emotion away for another time.

“I have found that some members of your clan are pronouncing my name oddly, and it seems to have become a bit of a joke. Tell me, among your people is there any kind of meaning behind the name Tight-ass?”

Kane’s mouth turned towards a smirk and he coughed into his hand, “I’m afraid not, it is a more familiar pronunciation though, I’m sorry I can’t help you more.” He’s hiding something, I swear he is, but I did not gain my position as head fleimkepa by simply confronting all of my problems head on.

“Thank you for your time Ambassador.”

It only got worse. The ambassadors all mispronounce my name now, and simply opening my mouth to speak leads to hand covered mouths and snickers. Only Heda listens to me now, the rest are all caught up in their childish little joke.

My presence is barely worth anything in the council chambers, so I have taken to walking the streets while Heda speaks with her fellow leaders. Sometimes I think I hear my name whispered. I turn around to look over my shoulder.

I don’t recognize anyone in the crowds. I continue walking and hear laughter rising again. It dogs my every step, somehow I know that this is all that damn bird girl’s fault. It is time to end this ridiculous joke once and for all.

“Heda.” I walk into her chambers, twitching at the sight of Clarke sitting across from Heda in one of her armchairs. It doesn’t matter, I need to stop this. “Heda,” I began again, “Skaikru is becoming a problem.”

Lexa stood up, arms folded behind her back, “Very well, explain it to me.” Clarke stood as well, glaring at me. I’ll take it gladly, anything but those aggravating smirks.

“Heda, Skaikru has begun spreading rumors about me, something to destabilize my control and my position. You know that I am loyal to you, but I cannot help you and guide you if no one respects my standing at your side.”

Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath, perhaps preparing herself to defend the clan that has done nothing but cause trouble for us. Maybe, just maybe she is beginning to understand how dangerous Skaikru is.

“Titus,” Lexa looked at me, “You have nothing to worry about. It is childish, and they will grow tired of their joke soon enough.”

“You do not understand!” This is too much, even Heda knows what they are doing.

“No, you don’t understand Tight-ass!” Clarke snapped.

Heda covered her mouth with her hand, and that was it. Even Heda...

Clarke burst into laughter, gleeful cackles at my humiliation. I left the room, heard Clarke’s laughter following me, echoing down the halls, entwining with the undertones of Heda’s low chuckles.


End file.
